INFP tip #14

Illustration: Marina Gonzalez eme

Accept that nothing is perfect.

I have always been very idealistic. Always fantasizing about perfect relationships, perfect partner, perfect life, perfect body etc. It is great to have big dreams and goals but when you aim for perfection, you become depressed, because it simply does not exist.

I ruined friendships and abandoned tons of projects because of this feeling of disappointment. My self esteem was also affected because I always dreamt of a better me.

Now when I think about my friends, family and past relationships, I remember to focus on the good and let go the bad. For every positive thing, there will be a less positive one. The trick is to accept that and to look at the bright side.

Let’s say you want to live in a beautiful white house with large windows by the sea, but you don’t have the money to afford the white house and you are a couple of streets from the sea. Focus on what you do have. Maybe you can hear the sound of the waves from your room at night, even though you can’t see them. Maybe there is not as much light in this cheaper house, but when its 11am there is the most beautiful ray of sunshine peeking through the kitchen window, lighting the whole room while you prepare lunch.

I have been let down by friends, and have been hurt by broken promises lately. But I hold on to the good things they have given me. People sometimes hurt and disappoint, we grow and learn and change, and it’s what life is about.

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