There are two things that are absolutely essential to a healthy relationship. They are a good indicator that the person you are with is a good match for you. They are not everything of course, but make sure you at least have that going well. It will sound very simple and obvious but it’s actually not that easy to find, and it’s really important.
The first thing that’s really important in a relationship, is being able to be yourself with the other person. You need to be able to be 100% you, 100% authentic. You need to be able to open up and not feel judged. You need to feel relaxed around the other person. To feel accepted both in your strengths and flaws.
The second very important aspect is you need to feel like you are enough. So first you get comfortable enough to be yourself and act natural. Then you have to feel like this person you are, your personality, your hobbies, etc. are just right, and just enough. You need to feel respected, and understood. It’s okay if your partner doesn’t share ALL of the same hobbies, but he or she needs to respect what you like, and let you be. You won’t feel stressed because you don’t have to overcompensate, or act like someone you are not.
So these two aspects may seem very obvious and simple, but in fact they are often ignored. And it can be very damaging for your self-esteem. If you are dating someone and you always feel stressed, like you have to be perfect all the time, and you have to work on yourself very hard, it is probably not the right person. The right person will never make you feel less, or unimportant, or not enough. The right person will accept and love you for who you truly are, whether it’s at 8 pm on a friday night when you are all dressed up and feeling good, or at 6 am when you just woke up and are feeling a little grumpy, in your old pajamas with your messy morning hair.